Happy New Year and a belated Merry Yule, Xmas, Kwanzaa and Hanukkah. I’ve got to say that 2025 will be one for the books. But which book, I wonder?

Will it be The Godfather? The Bible?The Book of SubGenius? I don’t think it’s any of those. I think it’s Dicken’s Tale of Two Cities. It was the best of times and the worst of times.

Let’s get to the worst of times. You could argue that for me, for sure. twenty year marriage down the tubes. I have no full time job, no car and if this had happened a year ago, I’d be suicidal. Because I’d have believed that I had nothing to give to this world but my labor and money. Because that’s all I was taught I was valued for. Turns out, there were people who thought that about me. If you think I’m talking about you, you’re probably wrong. But ask yourself why you think this.

But if this year has taught me anything, it’s that dwelling on the negative, wallowing in it doesn’t serve me. It imprisons me. It traps me in self doubt and self hatred. And it tris to drag me back in. My only way of dealing with it currently is to let it flow through me and out. Its easier said than done, but the more I do it, the more I allow myself to feel it, the less it has a hold on me.

And to those I have wronged: I am sorry. But my words will ring hollow until I act to repair them. I’m working on it, best as I can. That’s all I can do.

So what made it the best of times? I made new friends. I found out which of my friends were friends with me, and not just tolerating me because of my connections to others. Some people have left my life, and I deeply miss them. Some have left my life, and I wish I could be friends with them again. And some, I don’t care if they ever come back, because they were never what they said they were. And don’t come at me wondering and asking what group you might belong to, or how wrong I am. You want to come at me, come with positive intent and love, or at the very least, civil conversation.

So how can I say it’s the best of times? Because it’s giving us the chance to show how WE can be the best us we can be. When we fight for truth, love and those in need. When we choose love over hate and despair. When we’re in our darkest hour, those with light show themselves to us. That was certainly true in my case ,when people showed up in my darkest hours and showed me love , grace and light I couldn’t give myself.

And I’d like to thank all of those who have shown me grace and love. But I ‘d run out of space. I will say a special shout out to Jasmine. If you know who she is, you’re lucky. If you don’t, you’re missing out. Her and so many others (Hi Ryan!) have shown me better ways to be, and to deal with my trauma. She’s my girlfriend, partner, and a smile in human form, at least once she’s had her coffee. I love you, ma Cherie.

Speaking of trauma, my hero this year is my daughter Aubry. She has been given a ton of crap this year, which was piled on top of the crap she deals with every day. Yes, I know I’ve done some of the shoveling, and I wish I hadn’t I’ll never be able to undo some of the harm I’ve done, but I hope I can help her heal. She’s so amazing. She’s excelled while dealing with family drama, floods, and just the crap that comes with being a non-normal woman in her 20’s in Trump’s America. I love her more than words could ever say.

And to everyone reading this, here’s my hope for 2026: That something in your life gets better. I’d wish for everything to get better, but I know that’s not likely. I hope you find a better job. I hope your pain, physical or otherwise, decreases. I hope you find love,or if not love, then more people to be friends with. I hope your rights get back to where they belong. I hope things happen to make you feel safer. And I hope you find more joy, however small. Good night.