Tonight’s post is not for everyone. On second thought, yeah, it is. Because we all,like it or not, need each other. Unless you’re living under a homemade shelter out in the woods. And even then, you wouldn’t be reading this, because you’d be using the net.

I’m having issues with growing old. One of the hardest things about getting older as a parent, is the realization that your children don’t need you anymore. That your children are self sufficient and fully functioning adults. It can be gradual, or it can hit you all at once.

That’s a frightening day when you realize that. Some parents don’t ever realize that, or are unfortunate that they or the children don’t get to live to see that day. I feel bad for those parents and children. Because it’s a transformative moment.

When you become a parent(or stepparent, or foster parent,all of which are valid), your life changes, right then and there. And it may take you years or seconds to realize that you are a parent. Some would say it was when their child was born. You’d think I would say it was when Aubry was born. you’d be wrong.

The first day I truly felt like a parent was 9-11. That was the first day where my first thought was, what about the girls? I tried all morning to get a hold of someone. It took a bunch of searching and missed calls before I found out their grandmother had gone and gotten them out of school. It was a relief, to know they were safe.

Many years later, the girls are all mothers now. And that wasn’t when I knew they didn’t need me as a parent anymore. No, for me it was when their grandfather Larry passed. My wife was busy handling her own grief and arrangements down in North Carolina. I was assisting with that, best as I could, Within a day,those girls had rolled in, pitched in and helped their mother through one of the worst days a human can go through. And all I could think was, they were the helpers, not the ones needing help.

Now, the girls and I aren’t getting along. Not going there, sorry. I still think all the girls are amazing women. I will steer people toward their store every chance I get. And I do it, knowing they need nothing from me at all.

So, all you parents, accept that one day those tiny hands will hold you , cradle you, probably, I see it every day at my job. Loving children caring for elderly parents, helping ones who are infirm and struggling. And I wonder, what will happen when I need?

I think the bottom line is not to discourage your children’s independence. Feeing themselves of you is the natural way of things. You may not like the path they choose, or wish you’d done more. But in the end, they’ll most likely go. But they do come back. And you get to love them as who they are, and as the little one you once held in your arms. Good night.