My name is Trevor, and I’m fat. To anyone who knows me, this is like saying water is wet. I’m 6 foot 3, currently 289 pounds. My lowest in the last two decades has been 265, but I haven’t been under 200 since the eighties. And even then, according to the NIH, I’m not healthy until I’m down to 190. It’s these kind of metrics that drive heavy adults insane. Those metrics say every wrestler in WWE has to lose weight. And I defy you to call them unhealthy. What’s unhealthy is society’s obsession with weight and the damage it’s caused. The world has a body image problem.

I’m not here to preach to the converted. I know most of you reading this are aware of the issue. As the father of four girls and three granddaughters, I’m keenly aware of this. What I’m here to talk about is a problem that gets shoved under the rug: male body image issues.

I could quote you facts and figures, but most men with body image issues don’t talk about it, or would never admit to it. Gods knows, I never did. Until a couple years ago. Weirdly, it was three things that made me painfully aware of my problem: Kevin Smith, smut sites, and Pride.

I’m a big, literally, Kevin Smith fan. What struck me was he was on Late Show with Stephen Colbert one night, talking about his heart attack. He was petrified of being seen naked, so much that he hadn’t been fully unclothed unless he was showering since he was born. This is a man in his fifties, with a wife and child. If a guy like that can’t be free to be naked, why should I be? It made me sad.

Pride was a big factor when I started figuring this problem out. IF you ever have a problem with your body image, gentlemen, go to Pride. Damn guarantee someone there is looking at you and finding you cute. Yes, there’s a lot of muscle and skinny, but seeing the bears made me reconsider my body image. I mean, if those big, round, hairy as hell guys could get out there in speedos, why couldn’t I? Another piece of the puzzle fell into place.

Another thing that made me reconsider my image issues was smut sites. Growing up, men in porn weren’t worried about image, they just worried about being able to do the job repeatedly on camera. Unless it was gay porn. Those guys had to be buff. Men are visual and all. When porn and smut, got democratized and people coudl post themselves quickly and anonymously. the men lost their minds. Thousands , if not millions of dick pics flooded the net. Not a good thing, but I kidnof amdired the guts and bravado it tookt o post, or send those pics.

It led me to bring up my body image issues with my therapist. Mentally, I was at a serious low point, as well as physically. I had ballooned to close to 350. I was sedentary. I was having more low self esteem issues than ever before. I had non stop suicidal ideation. But even before all that, I couldn’t look at myself naked in the mirror. I could barely tolerate seeing myself with my shirt off. What she told me to do was the first step on the journey to where I am today,

She told me to stand in front of the mirro in the bathroom naked, for five minutes a day. If it fills you with horror, you’re not alone. Every guy, and several women I’ve suggested this to, have all looked horrified. I was against it. First time, I only lasted three minutes. Save your jokes, folks. For three months, I did that. I could look ay myself naked, but still felt uncomfortable naked. Then, as I was building up image self esteem, I blew my life up.

I won’t go into the gory details, or talk about fault or blame. My page, my life, my voice. Suffice it to say, when the smoke cleared, I was out of the house, out of my family and out on my own. And I discovered something out there that shocked me.

I was desired. Women and recently, a few men, found me physically attractive. I’d rarely , if ever had this happen. I was encouraged to be free and be naked on camera. Did I do it? The people who need to know that answer already do. We’re all adults here.

The last, and most important step in my body image journey has bene my girlfriend Jasmine. She’s encouraged me being naked, and not just for sexy times. As a result, I’m wearing clothes at home a lot less. You’ve bene warned, window peepers.

Why write about this? So men with body image issues look inward and realize they’re ok. So that people can use this story to maybe not dislike themselves so much. So maybe someone reads this and gets brave and feels free from what society tells them they should be. And yes, I”m writing this with less clothes than usually socially acceptable.

What also inspired me to write this was getting some negative test results. So I have to make changes so I’m healthier. Not weigh less, be healthier. Try to keep up the meat shell, folks, It’ll help with the mind as well. Good night.