They say that you regenerate your entire body every seven years. This is why the seven year itch exists, I think. People don’t keep up with each other, and boom, you’re married to a completely different person. I think this happens with people all the time. It can be a blessing or a curse. Some folks use this time to renew their strengths. Some people fall apart. It’s usually somewhere in the middle, I’m thinking.

I’ve never talked about my divorce in this place. Still won’t. But it is a trial by fire. A burning away of things. I mourn some of them ,some I don’t. But you can look at this as a season of nothing but loss. You lose security. You lose friends and family. And you can lose your self esteem, your self worth, think you’re the lowest scum on the face of the earth.

But it doesn’t have to be this way. You don’t have to die. At least not literally. Maybe these events, like divorce, or retiring, are like dying in Dark Souls or Dungeons and Dragons. It’s time to create another character. And you can choose to roll the dice, but I’d rather control who I become. Maybe that’s why I liked systems like Champions back in the day. Choosing your powers over rolling for them.

It can be tough figuring out who you want to emulate. I don’t recommend specific people. That route is hazardous. I think I’d like it to be like the comic book hero Captain Marvel. The word he used to activate his powers, Shazam, was an amalgam of people, each letter a different god , denoting a specific ability ot virtue. Think I’ll do that for me. I’m still figuring out who I want to be, Maybe this will inspire me to think , and more importantly, act better. I want to be better, so I must make better choices. I was never encouraged to choose as a child, so I don’t choose. Maybe just by choosing, I can fake it until I make it, Make the better choice, like my friend Ryan says. What’s better? Start listening to your brain, your heart and your instinct.

Yes, you’ll make mistakes. We all do. We trust the wrong people. It doesn’t mean you’re bad, or they are necessarily bad, just the combination doesn’t work. Maybe the locks need to be rekeyed, or the strings restrung. But change like that happens, and all you can do is try to be better on the other side of it. Good night

PS. Today is National Girlfriend Day. I have one. Her name is Jasmine. She’s amazing. I love her. That’s all.