Friendship. It’s a lovely and many varied thing. If getting a divorce will teach you one thing, it’s who your friends truly are, were and are going to be. moving forward from that day forward. And it never plays out the way you planned or figured.

I’ve had people step up and back into my life. Ive had people I thought who would stand by me jump ship before anyone else. And I’ve had people I barely knew reveal depths of friendship I never knew before. It has been a blessing to discover thesethings about people I thought I knew.

One of the hardest things about all this has been trying to make new friends. People are so set in their ways by their fifties that its amazingly hard to fit in as a new person. It’s like trying to be the new kid on the first day of school, except the kids are even more tightly knit together. All these people have such busy lives, you wonder where you might fit in?

Thoughts like that can lead to despair. It can make you think you’re never going to find a new tribe, a found family, as it were. It can make you think you’re doomed to nights of ramen, surfing reddit, and Strange New World reruns.

But you can’t do that, if you’re looking to make new connections. You have to get out of the house, find something you enjoy doing. Sooner or later, you’ll find people will notice you around. And you can approach some of these people, say hi, strike up a conversation. Tougher than I make it sound, I can hear you say. We all work, we all have lives. But if you don’t put your ass in the pool, you’ll never swim.

When things started falling apart in my life, I found my refuge in something I hadn’t done in decades: going dancing. I found a release, and a way out of emotional pain by dancing to songs I hadn’t danced to in decades. And it opened up a door to many things, and many new people in my life. And it all started with picking up things I’d left behind.

So if you’re searching for new friends, ask yourself: what do I like to do? Are there places or organizations that do them together? Can I go do them? Or maybe meet some people with similar interests online? These things are possible, and good. Explore, get out the door, the world has things to show you, and people who liek them too. And they’d like to meet you too, I bet.

I’ve met so many neat people lately, especially in my age group. People who make me think my life isn’t over yet. People who are still alive, and vibrant. I’d name them all, btu I’d forget someone, and that would cause drama. But know if I’ve talked to you in the last few months and introduced myself, chances are, I think you’re awesome in some way or form.

As I end this, I’d like to shout out two fo the best things about Milwaukee: Goth Barge and Subspace. While both are nominally DJ collectives, organizing events from theme nights to game meetups, they provide quality inclusive events. And they’re all so NICE. Go to an event put on by these groups. You’ll thank me later. Good night.