No song title this time, folks. Honestly writing this because it’s been so long since I posted, and I feel like if I don’t start up again, I never will. And like most of my posts, expect this one to be kind of all over the place.

I was expecting this holiday season to be rough. I’m in the middle of a divorce, and working two jobs. And I wanted to do so much, btu time kept slipping away. And then, things took a real header. I wrecked my car.

I’m not going to bore you with the details, but I was dumb and it cost me my car. The insurance company is dragging their heels about the little they want to pay out. Constant bus riding in the winter gets old very fast. So I was feeling pretty down.

And just like that, a couple things happened that made things better. My girlfriedn Jas got some money she was owed, finally. And I met an awesome woman who has real potential to be,well, someone special. Still figuring it out, and taking it slow. At least, in the catching feelings department.

Then the universe decided to kick my girlfriend’s joy away from her. She had a bunch of stuff stolen from her. It happened right before Yule, and it left both of us kind of, not feeling the best about the season.

When Yule morning rolled around, I was close to cancelling. Jas has taught me about being all ion for things, and I was nowhere near all in. But I didnt want to disappoint people, and I soldiered on, and bounced back, determined to not let the world get the best of me. And thanks to friends , loved ones and a complete stranger, things turned around, and fast.

Yule night, which I thought was going to be a complete disaster, turned out awesome. Some folks showed me nothing but love, and offered help when I hadn’t asked for it. A fact that still amazes me. And makes me feel loved.

So why the title? It’s “why not both” in Spanish. It’s used a lot in the poly, swinger and kink communities. It’s why choose when you can have both? And you’re asking, what does that have to do with my life currently?

Because you can have two things at once. You can have the worst and the best time, all at once. There is no real mysterious force, forcing you to choose. A lot of it is all mental. You can choose to think of a time as best and worst. But that’s either/or thinking. Been the root cause of so much garbage. What’s needed is to reframe the thinking. Don’t think of thing as just good and bad. Just think of them as just different facets of the same experience. Try to find satisfaction in sad and happy times. In the rain and the sunshine. No more false dichotomy of good and bad when honestly, a lot of the time, it’s just the same experience through different views. Take both the sweet and the savory, embrace the whole. Why not both? Good night.